Everything happens for a reason

So Nick just dumped me.

No, I'm not sad. At all really. Because the more I think about it, the more it seems like it was the right thing. He didn't make me as happy as I thought he did. I think I was with him as a safety thing. Because I didn't think he would hurt me. But i never truly opened up with him. I couldn't. He wouldn't let me. I remember trying to a few times. In tears. But in all honesty all I got in return was a cold apology. That's not what i want. I wanted him to care and i feel like he never did.

I'm not trying to be bitter to him or resent him. Not one bit. He is truly a great guy. But he's not what I want. And the one thing I truly don't want to have to do is pretend that a guy is right for me. Not anymore. So it stinks that things didn't get as far as I had hoped, but its better it ended before one of us cared more than the other.

So the good thing that comes from this? I can be how ever I want to. I can worry about how I look, rather than what my boyfriend would think. I can write however i want and not wonder what people will assume. I can believe in things like love at first site, cause maybe that can happen. There are so many possibilities that can result from this. So thanks Nick, you've given me back the world.

XoXo

Forbidden Night

Amber rays caress my cheeks,
as a burning sun hides away.
Brillant night slowly drowns me,
as black erases everything.

Simple pleasures in the glow of dusk,
such bittersweet emotion.
Gone is the sun which shines for me,
yet here is the moon which sings to me.

For i am myself not when day has reached its peak,
but rather when twilight captures me.
Only then can i strip the mask that i put on everyday,
only in the darkest hour do i ever feel as though its all ok.

So as specks of beauty begin to shine
(truly suns of a different kind),
and as the moon reaches peak,
all around me i feel alive,
and part of everything.

But sorrow follows soon enough,
as the moon is forced to go.
And i just wait,
behind my mask,
for the freedom of The Night.