Burns

I have watched a fire burn so brightly the colors around it turned black.
I have watched the colors of shadows grow and brighten,
encompassing all around them,
as the flames soared higher and higher over me.
                            I could not resist the urge to reach my fingers out…
                                              I knew the pain would come,
                                 as my skin heated over the heat and passion.
The flame burned with a lust that rivaled any I had seen;
It caused in me a desire so strong tears were brought to my eyes.
               But still I reached outwards for it…
                            Longed for that flame to fill my core.
There is a fascination that comes with this kind of longing,
a curiosity of how one can come to own and control it…
I held my own elements,
it wasn’t that I was alone.
The ice that surrounded my heart was given to me,
and I had never before wanted to melt it away…
Yet this fire held my eyes and made me hungry,
made me crave its tongue against my skin.



I did it.
                                                    I touched the flame.
Toying with it for so long only made my soul hotter and hotter.
I did not know that things like this were possible…
The gift of ice was all but forgotten,
no longer cool and solid…
it was cold and hard.
I wanted to shed the ice and embrace the fire…
I did it.
I burned myself and loved it.
                One touch did nothing for me.
I stepped fully into the fire and felt its heat tear apart my skin,
the blisters and burns barely a thought in my mind.
                                    I must own this fire.
                 
                                                                         I must control this fire.
And I did it.
       But you cannot control a flame…
The flame fades to a spark…
        No one wins.
My fire is gone now…
I think I killed it.
But all a fire needs to do is breathe,
it needs air to light it’s spark again.
The burns I have suffered leave their tell-tale marks on my skin,
                            red,
                                             flushed,
                                                                             but growing colder
and colder.
I want the fire to rage.
I want to step into it once more,
be hypnotized by its passion
and have it control me the way fire should.
Not to own me,
but to burn with me.

Love, a mythology

Love, a Mythology

Once upon a time,

a long time ago,

a story began

on a land unknown.

Before the light and the dark

began to fight,

before there was the day 

and before there was night,

before there just was

and wasn't a world,

there lived a spark,

who did nothing but twirl.

He had no future,

he had no past.

He simply just was,

and that was that.

But this poor little spark,

all alone in nothing,

began to think 

he was missing something.

But try as he might, 

he just didn't know,

what he was missing 

and which way to go.

The little spark tried and tried as he might,

not even realizing he was creating a light.

This little light grew until suddenly,

the spark, for the first time,

could truly see.

All that was around him 

and near him 

and close,

yet all this was nothing,

but he didn't know. 

His light had created

 the colors we know,

like rainbows around him,

the space seemed to glow.

He liked this a lot,

but it wasn't enough,

cause the spark didn't know,

he was looking for love.

We all need companions,

there's no question of truth,

but what of the spark,

who had nothing

to gain or to lose?

He tried really hard,

to give the light a form,

but try as he might,

it was nothing but warm.

Til suddenly the spark

figured it out,

and knew without question,

 and had no doubt.

He was trying all wrong,

to create a love,

not loving what he had,

and what he was void of.

The little sparked loved

the light like he should,

until a time came the light seemed to grow.

The spark was surprised,

when what should he see,

but another little spark,

glowing bright with glee.

These two little sparks 

embraced without end,

vowing never ever to be lonely again.

The sparks kept getting bigger,

as love grew and grew,

until suddenly

 boom,

they made something new. 

The world was so perfect,

they really were sure,

so many sparks,

and love so pure.

The sparks turned solid,

and the love grew hotter,

and as the world began filling,

 they gave birth to a daughter.

No not a son,

he didn't come first,

it was a girl

destined to be

the mother of the Earth.

This mother was born 

of pure and true love,

and that's all she wants

from somewhere above. 

She wants us to know,

her parents tale,

of how nothing became something,

and lifted the veil.

In everyone one of us

resides a spark,

waiting in patience til love comes along,

freeing it from its lonely existence,

waiting for color to pay a visit.

So never give up

til your spark is a fire,

and always know love

shines brighter and brighter.

2011 in rewind

I read once somewhere, that its hardest to write when you’re happy, but when you're upset or on the negative side of emotions words flow out like a water fall. I guess I believe that now. I never realized how good my life had been up until recently. These past few months have honestly been some of the best I can remember. As a result of that I guess, I haven’t written anything in what feels like forever. I won’t lie; I’ve missed the feeling of the keys under my fingers and the ease of which I can release my words and emotions. I can come unbridled and let the world know how I feel.  

This year has truly been a rollercoaster for me… one that has had so many ups, downs, twists and turns that frankly I’m surprised I made it out in one piece. I’ve met people I thought would be in my life forever and lost them, I’ve met people who I thought were temporary fixes and found them to be the best of friends; and then there are the people that I knew before that reappeared and the ones who disappeared. This has really been a year for meeting people, people that have honestly changed my life. I’m thankful, for they have changed me for the better and made me who I am meant to be.

The events that have rocked my small world too… its so much to take in when you think about it in one setting. I started trying to grow up this year, started trying to state my independence. I haven’t done too good a job with it yet, but something’s gotta give sooner or later right?

I’m honestly lost,

Wondering where I should be

And what I should do.

Unable to make the right choice

Ignorant to what is wrong.

Falling down the deepest hole

Plunging into the deepest well.

Losing track of time and depth

Forgetting everything and everyone.

Waiting for the ceiling to come rushing up to me,

The ground to be waiting below.

The key hole to swallow me whole

And the rabbit to rush me away…

Have a happy New Year

Negative me

I am jealous.

Little green monsters run through my head

like little martian soccer teams

back nd forth 

searching for a goal.

Envy is my sin.

I am angry.

Passionate storms rage war in my soul,

leaving everything

torn and broken

scattered all around.

Wrath is my sin

I am lazy.

Idle hands sit by my sides,

painting no master piece,

only flicking my thumbs,

slowly at that.

Sloth is my sin.

I want more. 

Taking all I can hold,

still wanting more,

never good enough

unless I have it all.

Greed is my sin.

I can't stop.

Hungry simply insatiable,
wasting what I don't want,
giving nothing to anyone,
swallowing more than I can chew.

Gluttony is my sin.

I am perfect.

I see no flaw in my design,
Everyone wants to be me
and touch me
I need no improvement.

Pride is my sin.

I desire you.

I want nothing more than to tear you apart,
claim every inch
of the soft skin
taunting me.

Lust is my sin.