Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I hate this...

I can't do it anymore... I can't pretend it doesn't bother me anymore. I don't know how to keep fighting against all the blows that seem to want to tear me apart.

If it's not one thing it's another... I just don't know how to keep doing it...

I feel bad for my boyfriend. My boyfriend who I love more than the world and want nothing more than to spend the entirety of my life with... I feel bad for him for wanting me back... Because he has to date the girl who can't go out. Who can't go on dates or hang out with out having to lie. The girl who has to be home everyday by 10 or else the world comes crashing down. I'm fucking 19 years old and I still ask permission and except it when they say no. What the hell? Why is what I do not good enough to warrent me having the freedoms I deserve god damnit!
But you know what... I do get those freedoms. They are just ripped away from me when my parents decide they don't want me to have it anymore...

So... I just give up. I'm done playing. Belly up or teeth out. Either way this game is gonna end.

You can try to stop the seasons baby but you know you never will.

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