Burns

I have watched a fire burn so brightly the colors around it turned black.
I have watched the colors of shadows grow and brighten,
encompassing all around them,
as the flames soared higher and higher over me.
                            I could not resist the urge to reach my fingers out…
                                              I knew the pain would come,
                                 as my skin heated over the heat and passion.
The flame burned with a lust that rivaled any I had seen;
It caused in me a desire so strong tears were brought to my eyes.
               But still I reached outwards for it…
                            Longed for that flame to fill my core.
There is a fascination that comes with this kind of longing,
a curiosity of how one can come to own and control it…
I held my own elements,
it wasn’t that I was alone.
The ice that surrounded my heart was given to me,
and I had never before wanted to melt it away…
Yet this fire held my eyes and made me hungry,
made me crave its tongue against my skin.



I did it.
                                                    I touched the flame.
Toying with it for so long only made my soul hotter and hotter.
I did not know that things like this were possible…
The gift of ice was all but forgotten,
no longer cool and solid…
it was cold and hard.
I wanted to shed the ice and embrace the fire…
I did it.
I burned myself and loved it.
                One touch did nothing for me.
I stepped fully into the fire and felt its heat tear apart my skin,
the blisters and burns barely a thought in my mind.
                                    I must own this fire.
                 
                                                                         I must control this fire.
And I did it.
       But you cannot control a flame…
The flame fades to a spark…
        No one wins.
My fire is gone now…
I think I killed it.
But all a fire needs to do is breathe,
it needs air to light it’s spark again.
The burns I have suffered leave their tell-tale marks on my skin,
                            red,
                                             flushed,
                                                                             but growing colder
and colder.
I want the fire to rage.
I want to step into it once more,
be hypnotized by its passion
and have it control me the way fire should.
Not to own me,
but to burn with me.

Love, a mythology

Love, a Mythology

Once upon a time,

a long time ago,

a story began

on a land unknown.

Before the light and the dark

began to fight,

before there was the day 

and before there was night,

before there just was

and wasn't a world,

there lived a spark,

who did nothing but twirl.

He had no future,

he had no past.

He simply just was,

and that was that.

But this poor little spark,

all alone in nothing,

began to think 

he was missing something.

But try as he might, 

he just didn't know,

what he was missing 

and which way to go.

The little spark tried and tried as he might,

not even realizing he was creating a light.

This little light grew until suddenly,

the spark, for the first time,

could truly see.

All that was around him 

and near him 

and close,

yet all this was nothing,

but he didn't know. 

His light had created

 the colors we know,

like rainbows around him,

the space seemed to glow.

He liked this a lot,

but it wasn't enough,

cause the spark didn't know,

he was looking for love.

We all need companions,

there's no question of truth,

but what of the spark,

who had nothing

to gain or to lose?

He tried really hard,

to give the light a form,

but try as he might,

it was nothing but warm.

Til suddenly the spark

figured it out,

and knew without question,

 and had no doubt.

He was trying all wrong,

to create a love,

not loving what he had,

and what he was void of.

The little sparked loved

the light like he should,

until a time came the light seemed to grow.

The spark was surprised,

when what should he see,

but another little spark,

glowing bright with glee.

These two little sparks 

embraced without end,

vowing never ever to be lonely again.

The sparks kept getting bigger,

as love grew and grew,

until suddenly

 boom,

they made something new. 

The world was so perfect,

they really were sure,

so many sparks,

and love so pure.

The sparks turned solid,

and the love grew hotter,

and as the world began filling,

 they gave birth to a daughter.

No not a son,

he didn't come first,

it was a girl

destined to be

the mother of the Earth.

This mother was born 

of pure and true love,

and that's all she wants

from somewhere above. 

She wants us to know,

her parents tale,

of how nothing became something,

and lifted the veil.

In everyone one of us

resides a spark,

waiting in patience til love comes along,

freeing it from its lonely existence,

waiting for color to pay a visit.

So never give up

til your spark is a fire,

and always know love

shines brighter and brighter.

The Simplest of Pleasures

So lost in a world of nows and nevers,
of forgotten promises
and broken hearts.
Wishing rather to dive into a world of make believe,
fairie tales
and always and forver.
Much is the loss
of our innocence.
More is the fight
as we attempt
to gain something worth promising.
Come with me
into a land of make believe,
where nothing is what it seems
and everything is what it could be.
Where the grass is never greener,
cause its never not.
Where always is never
and never is impossible.
Where hearts don't break,
and people can sing.
So tell me
my love
will you come with me?

Lovers lost in love's loving emabrace

Eternity

Cool,
clear,
crisp,
Midnight as the moon rises.
Rare,
flitting,
moments,
Love as bodies mingle.
Harsh,
fast,
shallow,
Breath as mouths part.
Shy,
whisper,
longing,
Heart as fingers trace.

For love is what you make it,
A touch,
A kiss,
A word.
For all who chose to use it
A girl,
A boy,
Together,
Forever can they make it.

Just another Manic Monday...

First and foremost, yes I know it is no longer Monday. O well.
Monday was stressful, thus why I waited until 7 o'clock in the morning to post.

So yea... No biggy.
I feel like this post could be told much like the tale of Alexander's No Good, Very Bad Day.

Meaning I could say, Monday was a bad day because blank, then blank THEN BLANK!!! But I can't do that. What I can do is say that I still have some work to do on my ability to not care about people's opinions. You can't win them all can you? I feel like I need to come to complete terms with that idea, then I will finally be able to mature past the way I let myself sink into a funk every time someone isn't happy with me.

I'm gonna do it...

So on a new subject, I really like metaphors and cruel ironies. I know that that's kind of a morbid thing to say, but today's writings really are a bit morbid.


Savage Desire

He couldn't get her off his mind,
she only seemed to haunt him.
The shadow of his recent past,
the dark never to be forgotten.

Every morning she's all he sees,
as he attempts to start again.
He wants nothing more than to reach for her,
for them to be more than friends.
He knows she isn't good for him,
that he should walk away.

But he'll never learn to live her down,
all he deserves is the pain she brings,
the thrill as she breaks skin.
He craves the rush,
he craves the thrill,
he wants her one more time.

There she sits.
Catching his eye.
Metal shining in the florescent dungeon.
It wouldn't take much to merge with her,
to take all she had to give.
All he can feel is the ice cold flood,
as he steals all that there is.  

Irony

Screaming words of ill fate 

for love,

Fighting wars for peace,

Staying up all night long,

trying to fall asleep. 

Wishing you could go home,

finding that's where you are,

Not wanting to be like everyone,

but trying not to stray far.

Believing you're in love,

with someone who's over you

Finding yourself to be in love,

with your own worst enemy.

Saying you're a rebel,

who fights without a cause,

Falling asleep just before,

you get to see the dawn.

Irony in every turn,

death for every life.

Simple things impossible,

a wrong for every right.

Forks in almost every road,

temptation pulling you astray.

But the irony is,

you don't want to walk away. 

Nowhere 

The silence of a world forgotten,

speaks volumes to those who listen;

Of past mistakes,

and fallen kingdoms,

of beautiful women,

and ravaged lands,

that gave fruit til no more could be beared.

But now our stories have changed light,

Beauty is no longer in the fruitful,

instead we find it in cold hard glass,

metal towers and toy guns.

We feel so little toward out fellow man,

we take and seldom admire.

Songs are sung not merely for the beauty of the lyric and melody,

but to tear down and be cruel.

We need to change our world,

or our own world will not be forgotten.

The pit of my stomach

So...
Sometimes things need to be said. They bother us enough that they have to be put out in the open. But when we finally put them out there the dread that fills your stomach is almost unbearable.


I'm not one to stand up for myself, especially against authority. I take what I'm handed and assume it's what I deserve... But that wasn't the case this time... I know that what has happened hasn't warranted this kind of treatment and I really would like it to end... But now that I've taken those steps I'm scared. I wanna pull the words back in and pretend it never happened.

Maybe I should have waited... I'm not ready for this...

Fairie Tales

 I used to believe in fairie tales
(that was how i used to be) 
the perfect prince would always come,
and find his future queen.
I told myself it was make believe,
fairie tales don't exist.
There is no princess and never is there a prince.
But they one day
(around seventeen)
you stood at my door.
Your arms around me told me,
you'd never ask for more.
Then all of those fairie tales,
came rushing back to me,
I cried myself to sleep that night,
(hoping love was real).

But who am I to kid myself,
Life's no fairie tale,
the prince will never find me,
he'll just look somewhere else.
I'm nobody's queen
and I'll never try to be,
the only thing I have in life is simply me.

That graceful Sleeping Beauty,
That luscious Snow White,
a simple kiss woke them both;
saving them from the night.
I remember when I was younger,
every night I would dream,
a kiss would wake me from my sleep,
and upon his noble steed.
He'd race away like thunder,
slipping through the dark.
He's arms around me held me tight
and said all was right.
I remember I would wake right up,
(just before the end),
a final glance at the castle door,
and the treasure deep within.


But who am I to kid myself,
Life's no fairie tale,
the prince will never find me,
he'll just look somewhere else.
I'm nobody's queen
and I'll never try to be,
the only thing I have in life is simply me.

But now that I think about it,
your arms felt just like his.
So soft and strong,
just where I knew they always belonged.
Then suddenly a knock
fell upon the door.
I couldn't get there fast enough,
time seemed to slur.
Then just like Cinderella's prince,
there you were in front of me.
Outside in the rain,
drenched from head to toe,
it became official for me,
how could I not have known.
I had you all,
heart and soul,
heat depth and passion.
No fights could come between us,
no queen could still our love.
A kiss you placed so carefully
upon my smiling lips,
I couldn't help but grab you back,
releasing the passion held within.

Sometimes I guess you should believe,
never be too quick to judge.
Love can come from anything and even anyone.
Even though I'm no Beauty,
and he wears no crown,
a fairie tale is what we have,
and love is what we found.

How to say the simple things

UNNAMED

Fate is cruel,
times are hard,
people just dont give a damn.
How easy it is
to betray a lover,
a comrade, or a freind.
Money makes the word go round,
no longer is it love.
War is all we seem to know,
hate our only passion.
So we shelter our children,
cling tightly to our mother,
cry to daddy when we're scared,
defend our little brothers.
Its not a nice one,
this game we play,
but what can you say?
This is how the world was meant to be,
why the caged bird is never set free.

Such Sweet Surrenders 

Once upon a time there was me,

 I often hid from what I should be.

 Because I never was really sure,

 Of what life would have in store.

 The ups and downs,

 The highs and lows.

 The passion,

 Romance,

 And lack of control.

 But life’s been bumpy,

 Times are tough,

 And I find myself to be in love.

 Fast I fell,

 And it kinda hurt,

 But my lover’s arms were my comfort.

A Dying World

I like language,

secrets of foreignlands,

harsh growls and suggestive whispers,

Each showing separate ways of knowing.

Some sound cruel, the harshwinter,

others sweet, the rose’sbloom.

No matter what, they connect us all,

leaves on a branch of a tree.

A tree that is slowly dying as languages cease to be,

as peoplekill and peopledie,

erasing parts of history.

But I like language,

and shall fight to save the ancient tree.

It's the only way I can think to deal...

Runaway

No more pretending it doesnt bother me,
No more fighting off nightmares to fall asleep.
I wanna show you that im so much more,
I wanna understand before you walk out the door.
Its impossible for me just to let it go.


I dont think I ever truly wanna know,
all the things you say about me,
and all the lies youve been fighting to keep.
I cant walk away from what has begun,
you cant just ignore the me youre beginning to shun.


My words seemed jumbled,
and my thoughts dont make sense.
It seems to me,
You, dont really care just how i feel,
and i bet to you none of my words are real.


Ive had this conversation with you before,
and even then you managed to ignore,
every tear that fell from my eyes,
just another time youve made me cry.

Ive tried so hard to be the one,
The prodigy child,
the perfect one.
I wanted you to enjoy me,
all the things we did in company.

I let it go when you broke my heart,
even though i knew it wasnt right.
I pretended it was all mistakes,
and that our love was give and take.


But not this time,
I cant let it be,
you need to know,
your supposed to love me.
Youre the one id come running to,
when my hearts been shattered or my bruises are new.


So mother dear,
please hold my hand,
tell me you love me
and that you understand.
Tell me its all gonna be ok,
and that its never gonna happen again.


I know its alot for me to beg for,
but thats so little,
i want so much more.
I want you to call me just because,
and send me notes to show your love.
I wanna be the Gilmore set,
happily ever after,


But then, I exit the set.

No where else to turn...

Sometimes there are things that just drive us up a wall.

For example. When things don't work out the way you want them to. When you can't finish things with a simple bow nd ship it out. When it needs to be packed and measured nd at the end of the process you just want to throw it across the room. Screw mailing it.

Well that was a big metaphor for how sick I am of my ex. Maybe the things I'm reading have nothing to do with me. But truly one can't help but assume. I mean, no one lied to anyone... and I'm just truly pissed nd trying to vent. I'm not even sure what I want to say or what I want to come across right now...

Maybe I just need to let things be out in the open. Maybe I just need people to at least pretend to be happy for me. I'm so tired of staying with a guy cause of other people nd getting with a guy for other people. So for once I pick a guy that I legit like nd who I think can match me nd NO ONE seems to want to be happy for me..

All I hear is But Nick.... nd what about Nick.... nd Nick was so great.

Forget it! Me nd Nick is over! That's in my past nd will stay there. Want me to be a bitch? I'm done dating down. Yea, I went there. I said the thing that every person in my family has said over nd over. I want a "God they look good together" not a "God how did he get her". Sorry. I'm sick of being nice...


Rushed


Its time for you to be honest with me,
I'm sicking of playing make believe.
I'm tired of hiding behind the bush,
of pretending it's gone if I just don't look.
You need to say just how you feel,
suck it up and make it real.
It won't change things,
I'm not gonna lie,
It'll just move us closer to goodbye.

But to be blunt,
thats what we need,
there's nothing left
between you and me.
I don't think we can be friends,
and I just don't want to try,
I'm ready to close shop
and say my good byes.

I'm rushing my words,
and spiking my blood,
I'm fighting the urge when push comes to shove.
I'm not the type to pick a fight,
or say bad things late at night.
I don't wanna make enemies out of old friends,
but your not the one I started this with.

You're no where near where you used to be,
and honestly babe, that's fine with me.
You were nothing more than a song and dance,
and that my dear,
is not romance.
So let's end it now,
before we get hurt,
walk away with our pride,
and brush off the dirt.
It's over now,
you and me,
We can both move on,
Happily.

99 Problems

Do I sound crazy to you?!

Giddy feelings bubbling inside
cant get enough
screw trying to hide.
Love the way you make me feel,
the goosebumps,
and smiles,
the blushes
and chills.
Like a little child
set free to play,
tomorrow my dear,
will be our day.
To run and jump,
and play and scream,
to do all we want
and everything in between.
We'll conquer the world,
just me and you
and we'll do all those things that lovers do.
We can fight the dragon
or just play pretend,
after all our time together will never end.
still counting the seconds til you are all mine,
and trying so hard
to fast forward time.

Down Down Down

My Vampire...

 
Bite me.
Please.
So hard and deep.
Take me.
Now.
So fast and steep.
Claim me.
Always.
As your own.
Let's be forever,
Night and moon.

Vampire Lullaby

 A kiss of silver runs through my veins,

softly creeping towards my brain,

causing a thirst,

I can't deny,

Not just for your touch but the blood of time.

Leaving me pale in the moon light,

you hunt to keep me satisfied,

until I learn to be on my own,

I know my love you'll never disearn.

It's your fault now that I yearn,

the way things were can never return.

Just another lazy afternoon

Why me?

 

 

I'm not the type for jealousy,

Despite my unrequited love themed poetry.
the sight of her, and her and yet another,
Sends me screaming under the covers.
I don't think I'll tell you,
Its best you don't know,
I don't wanna start fights,
its not worth it, you know?

So I'll pretend it doesn't bother me...
I'll bite my tongue and grit my teeth.

Ignore the frequent "I love you"s

and all their stupid num de plumes.
I'll try so hard to get over it,

ignore my desire to throw a fit.

Stop looking for fuel to feed my fire,
after all that wasn't my desire.
Just wanted to see what your life was about,
how it worked and figure things out.

But here I sit,
all alone,
wishing time could be owned.
to go back when,
curiosity peeked,
and the wall I built sprung a leak. 

I invite you to a world where there is no such thing as time

Let's play pretend and Make believe

Chase me,                                                                                                                          

Chase me,                                                                                                           

round and round.                                                                                                                        

Follow me,                                                                       

Follow me,                                                                       

down and down.                                                                   

Catch me,                                         

Catch me,                                 

if you can...                  

Take me,                                                                                                                  

Take me,                                                                                                   

make a stand.                                                                                                             

I won't wait forever,                                                                

Here and now.                                                                    

                    I'll run away,                                

underground.            

Down my rabbit hole I'll spiral,                                                                                  

singing songs of want and desire.                                 

Some desires are so deep rooted that even the thought of them haunts us

Rose-Scented Kisses...

I see you,

I want you.

I taste you,

I crave you.

It seems like you enjoy the game that I play,

My tongue flicking and teasing across your lips.

I taunt you,

I tease you.

I touch you,

I need you.

Close Enough to Start a War

 

Such evocative eyes,

Such powerful attraction,

Led not by a carnal lust

Or an insatiable passion,

But by simply a need to discover what captivates his mind.

What does he dream when he lies to sleep?

What causes his eyes to drift towards the towering ceiling of a dark lit room?

Is there any thoughts that could shake the world?

Or is it simply a jaded man’s lack luster attempt at self reflection?

But more I wonder,

What do you think when our eyes catch for that brief moment,

Over the heads of dozens,

All equally disinterested in the story singing in the air.

Do you reflect on what I may be thinking of you?

Or why it seems that I can’t draw my eyes from you,

That is without looking back a few seconds later.

Possibly I hope you’ll catch my gaze

And

Maybe

Just maybe

You’ll smile at me.

This is a place where your mind can ecape all the problems of date and go far far away

A Kiss

A kiss.

So simple in its motions,

Yet to you,

Promising such deep and profound longing.

I never considered how much I might be hurting you.

I never thought that maybe it meant more to you then to me.

I’m sorry if I broke your heart.

I’m sorry if you miss me.

I didn’t mean to fall in love with a man who barely knows my name.

A sigh.

So long have I wanted this.

Yet to me,

Promising him everything meant so much to me.

I didn’t think you considered me making those same promises to you.

I didn’t want this for me and you because you don’t make my heart fly.

I’m trying to catch his eye.

I’m failing at it.

I didn’t mean to capture the heart of a lonely man.

So We Return...

Another day that we return

To blind passions

And secret glances.

Another moment where I know

That I simply cannot possess you

And that thought reeks havoc in my mind.

Why is it so bad that I want you near to me?

To keep as my own,

For no one else to hold?

See me please,

Let me walk into your life.

Let me kiss the lips that tease me so often

Let me know that you wish the same

So we return no more to this game.

I try day after day

To make sense of how I feel,

Questioning my movements

And your glances.

It’s not as simple as black and white,

Not as clean cut as i would have.

But still I try and I beg,

See me please,

Let me walk into your life.

Let me kiss the lips that tease me so often

Let me know that you wish the same

So we return no more to this game.