My name is Alyss... I was not gifted with a last name, but it was one Garrett Dunnan who granted me my first. I have been around for a long time, but the only time I was fully given the reins was shortly after Spike attacked Ciara. I was different then, just like any person is when they are younger.
I found myself immersed in the world of Wicca and magic. It was a magical time... Truly. It was short lived though. There comes a certain point where people don't want to deal with childish things, and as stated in Corinthians "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things"
So the spell books were put away and I made my way back into the recesses of Ciara's mind. She never knew that I was in control and she was content throughout that time. I guess we have reached that point again... I didn't think that anyone could hurt her like Spike did, but this is a different kind of hurt, so she is sleeping it off. She needs this time, so I am going to give this to her, she deserves it.
I promised her that I would keep a running written history for her. This is because she wonders about the times she misses, so this is my gift to her.
I am after all her bitch at bay
Now, when he and I meet, after all these days,
I say to the bitch inside me, don’t start growling.
He isn’t a trespasser anymore,
Just an old acquaintance tipping his hat.
My voice says, “Nice to see you,”
As the bitch starts to bark hysterically.
He isn’t an enemy now,
Where are your manners, I say, as I say,
“How is the family? They must be getting old.”
At a kind word from him, a look like the old days,
The bitch changes her tone; she begins to whimper.
She wants to snuggle up to him, to cringe.
Down, girl! Keep your distance
Or I’ll give you a taste of the choke-chain.
“Fine, I’m just fine,” I tell him.
She slobbers and grovels.
After all, I am her mistress. She is basically loyal.
It’s just that she remembers how she came running
Each evening, when she heard his step;
How she lay at his feet and looked up adoringly
Though he was absorbed in his paper;
Or, bored with her devotion, ordered her to the kitchen
Until he was ready to play.
But the small careless kindnesses
When he’d had a good day, or a couple of drinks,
Come back to her now, seem more important
Than the casual cruelties, the ultimate dismissal.
“It’s nice to know you are doing so well,” I say.
He couldn’t have taken you with him;
You were too demonstrative, too clumsy,
Not like the well-groomed pets of his new friends.
“Give my regards to your life,” I say. You gag
As I drag you off by the scruff,
Saying, “Goodbye! Goodbye! Nice to have seen you again.”