Saturday, January 5, 2013

Do not read me

The nightmares are getting worse.
I can't wake up from them anymore... they just keep replaying over and over again.

I miss him so much...
I stopped feeling things when he walked away, and all I can manage to do is look down at my stomach and cry.

I want to share this with him. It supposed to be such a magical time. I want to raise this child to be everything that I could never be.


I made a mistake... I saw Spike last night... I have since banned him from this page (at least his email no longer receives copy as it somehow did), but it was bad.

He got me high and he was drunk... He hit me, a lot... Make up is hiding the bruises but not covering my pride.

I was an idiot... I just wanted to feel something, because since it ended I haven't been able to feel anything...

Aside from punching my face he hit me in the stomach a few times... hard...  and I'm worried about Blip. I'm going to go to the doctor to make sure everything is ok...

I can't lose him too....

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